somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
