He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
