But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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