puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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