I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish my penis had a tongue
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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