Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
PANTIES FOUND
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