I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
