this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
