Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
