I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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