he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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