Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
