just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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