There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
