Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
