..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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