i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
