First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
