I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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