I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i love accidental penises.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize