the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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