Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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