This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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