Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
