This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
