Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
