So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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