do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
