This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
