O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
