I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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