she looked like the bat from fern gully.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize