I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
MIDGETS
????
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
