Sponge bath it is.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
