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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  My ATM looks so different sober.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ

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