dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
