Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This is the high leading the old right now
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
