Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Please don't give away my fajitas
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
