in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
