she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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