...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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