im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
