You don't have asthma, your pregnant
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
