Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
