My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
