3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
