I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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