I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
