South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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