The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
