i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wish I only lived at night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
