Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You've changed since you got that strap on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
