k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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