thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
