Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
tell me about the fingering
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