I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
