You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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