I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
