remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
