He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
