Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
