She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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