Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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