Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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