So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
